Email Wizard (song)

(This is yet another parody of mine from "TOMMY")


Sat, 8 Sep 2001 02:10:37


Ha ha.

Well, nice to um, see you all again.  I'm glad you could all make it 
here tonight.  Please, make yourself at home, but just....make sure to 
remove your shoes, the carpet is persian.

Well, I know what you're all thinking...
Oh, yes.  I do.
You're thinking "Why the hell am I up this late (or rather....early), 
writing a silly letter to people who have forgotten your existence.

 Well, to answer that question, I will have to quote....if I may.....a 
good moral line from "Fiddler on the Roof".  That moral is "When a poor 
man eats a chicken, one of them is sick."  This quote works very well, 
because I, personally, do not HAVE any chicken right now.  So, in 
effect, I'm doing quite well, and I am NOT sick do to that fact.  Ponder 
this while I take a bathroom break...be right back.

Okay, like I was saying.  Ummm....what WAS I saying?  nevermind.

SONG TIME!
FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE!!!!

let's see here.

Due to the upcoming event that is TOMMY, let's do one for the ol' 
ipper. (that's you, Glenn).

THIS ONE IS CALLED:

          "EMAIL WIZARD"
Sung to the tune of Pinball Wizard

Ahem....


do do do do ddoood dopod doodom ddooo (cool intro music)

dod od od o dood oooo

Ever since the fourth grade, I've typed on my keyboard,
Through english and my thesis, i'd type 'till I was bored!
But never have a seen a man, so swift and so alive!
He'll send you letters night and day, and then stay up 'till five!

He slides along the buttons, He never lifts his head!
Instead of writing all this crap, he could've gone to bed!
But never will he be compared to the power of a snail!
That fat, unemployed kid SURE writes a mean EMAIL!

He's an Email Wizard, there's gotta be a twist!
The Email Wizard's got HUGE PAINS in his wrist!
How do you think he does it?
I DON'T KNOW!

He's got all his distractions, like college and his grades!
He could flunk from pure exhaustion, but he is not afraid!
You knew he'd come back someday, with his songs so old and stale!
But that fat, unemployed kid SURE sends a mean EMAIL!

He's an Email Wizard, He's hanging on a thread!
An Email Wizard, cause he JUST CAN'T rest his head!

Well, now he has to quit because it's quarter after five!
And he will go to bed now...no longer will he strive!
And after you have sung this sung, remember all the times
that the fat, unemployed kid, ALL send you mean EMAIL!

*RIFFFFFFFFFFF  *COOOOLLLLLL GUITTARRRRRR RIFFFFFFFF

*clap *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap 
*clap *clap *clap *clap  THANK YOU, Thank you *clap *clap *clap *clap *clap